Recently, I have come into contract with a vast array of people who I can only describe as ‘Ass-holes’. Be it politicians, thieves, or the ultra cool elite of London, ass-holes pop up everywhere I seem to exist in and it is starting to grate. Why do these people have to exude this quality? Why do they have to ‘be’? And why do I always come into contact with them? I hope I am not alone in this and it would seem I am not. I always hear the same complaints about the same sort of people. ‘close-minded,’ ‘self-obsessed’ and ignorant. (sounds like ever estate agent I’ve ever met to me!) . Yet this is not just an opportunity to get these troubles of my chest. There is a point to all this. What I want to realise is why people can be such infuriating ass-holes, and I think I have found out why.
What it comes down to is that we are our own biggest fans. When we are alone, we chuckle at our own jokes, we agree with our own opinions and we subscribe to our own moral point of view but as soon as we step outside this all changes. Our opinions and values are challenged by the fact that there are other people who we recognise as having their own values and opinions.
As we walk down the street, lets face it, we judge people. Our high street is own catwalk. Why is this so? Because of other people. Not only do we judge, we feel judged as well, and quite rightly. In this way are values are provoked and we feel the need mask ourselves or present ourselves accordingly. We dress the way we do because we fear the other. We care too much about what people will think of us, that they won’t understand our personalities, that they won’t get us. We are scared that the other will judge us on how we look and how we present ourselves. How do I know this? Well, because I am the one judging you, the same as you will judge me. Have you ever walked down the street naked? No? Didn’t think so. We care to damn much about what people will think of us.
Now don’t worry. I’m not going to go on some existential rampage, all I am try to say is that this is the root off the ass-hole. Yet this alone is not what brings ass-holes into being. This angst about the other transcends deeper than just our clothing; our thoughts, our most deer, precious and private assets are effected by the other. I’m sure I am not alone when I say fear of embarrassing myself or revelling something others may find stupid or weird or offensive have hampered or prioritised my thought processes. As a result we conform. We conform to ideas, a style of clothing, artistic taste, ect… because it is easier and safer to do so. Predetermined values, usually composed by marketing executives (aka ass-holes), set us free from anxiety. We know how to dress and what to like and this is the reason for the ass-holes existence.
Now, before I go any further, I shall give you an example of an ass-hole. They come in different breeds and styles and we have all had run ins with them on a regular basis ( for example the ‘angry ass-hole,’ the ‘religious ass-hole’ the estate agent and David Cameron) but my favourite is the trendy ass-holes. This breed can usually be found inhabiting in only the coolest and cutting edge music bars and clubs that has been pre-determined but their magazines or fanzines (usually the NME or Vice), standing in silent judgement of each other and of any band that plays, too afraid to dance or criticise. These venues usually change every few weeks anyway so it takes a lot off effort to be an ass-hole of this commitment. As quickly as their taste in music changes, so does their outfits, usually overly expensive crap from a second hand shop adorned by a I-just-got-out-of-bed hair cut that blatantly took a good half hour to perfect., hence clearly marking them selves ass-holes. One defining aspect of their kind, a trend associated with most ass-holes, is their over powering erg to show themselves off, as if they are too good to be a secret, they must be seen as being cool! Usually you can see them chatting about gigs they’ve been to, drugs they’ve taken and about their shitty bands or post-modern prog-photography, just loud enough so that anyone in a ten meter radius can hear them and acknowledge that they are cool! God forbid you get roped into a convocation with one. They rattle off random band names that you have never heard of and smile smugly when you confess you don’t know who they are. If you offer a band name their flaccid eyes roll back and they will, as if possessed by an NME review, rattle off what ‘they’ think of that band.
I complain about these chodes but ultimately I’m to blame. If I never existed, there would be nothing for them to bounce their personalities off and prove who they ‘are’. The fact is that all these people are scared. They feel a need to conform and buy into a role in order to feel secure. The estate agent acts out the role of an estate agent because that is what is expected of him, as would a music fan of any genre would conform to the trends of that scene because it is the excepted thing to do, hence making it easier for people to be marketed and be sold defining crap. Is it a coincidence that indy kids all ware Converse? Is it a coincidence all rude bois ware tracksuit bottoms or new era hats? They have chosen their scene and subscribed to the approved stereotype.
Apart from the marketing executives defining cultures and personalities, I don’t see much wrong with this and it doesn’t make us all ass-holes but what makes an Ass-hole an ass-hole is the fact that they advertise themselves with gusto! Its as if they need to prove who they are what they like. They are trying to sell you their personalities, likes, dislikes through a medium of hair and clothing, all previously established with a strict code of conduct. They are in ‘bad faith’. Now I’m not saying that we’re immune to bad faith, we are all in it in some way. I act out the roll of an unemployed bum, you might act out the role of a student, or an office worker, or a policeman or a husband or wife. What makes you an ass-hole is when you are overtly conscious off this fact but refuse to believe that you are not an individual, that you are part of something un-organic. Self righteousness or a lack of acceptance of others the reason for ass-holes existence. We are so blinded by expectations of others and by being told what to wear, what values to uphold we have forgotten that not much of it matters. I’m not saying we can ignore the other and not choose how to live, we are forced into choosing a way to live by our own mortality, but we can choose not to subscribe so readily, we can choose not to be marketed to in such a calculated way, we can choose to see the banality and herd mentality in scenesters, we can choose to think that we are not infallible. Choose to ignore this and you will be doomed to become an ass-hole.
